Expert Opinion

Just read this in a magazine…”We’re drinking less soda every year: Americans consumed 714 eight-ounce servings in 2011, down 150 servings from an all-time high of 864 in 1998. Experts attribute the decrease to the rising popularity of bottled teas, sports drinks, flavored waters, and other nonbubbly beverages.” Well thank you MR. EXPERT!!! It must of taken months to figure out this completely obvious theory. Your brilliance astounds me. The only person more useless than you is the reporter who thought this was news.

Read More

Quote of the Day

Okay, so I am really serious this time. I am back for good. The joys of parenthood are limitless. The quote of the day….”Yay! We pooped soft serve…not chocolate milk!” Guess the 24 hour virus is over. I have to laugh as I think about the laundry situation. Before baby = a few loads once a week. After baby = a few loads once a day. Thank you nonstop diarrhea, baby vomit, and boogers. I am eternally grateful

Read More

Need a self-esteem boost?

Calling out to anyone who needs to feel better about themselves. Jersey Shore is back on the air tonight. Watch this train wreck and rejoice in the fact that you are not one of these asswipes.

Read More

I’M BACK

I’m back! Who missed me? You get pregnant and you forget your life. Thought for the day: To all you free advice givers, people are more likely to take your advice when they actually ask for it. Unless you are speaking to family, friends, or other well-knowns who value your input, shut your trap. And when you see a new mom, or a mom-to-be, for the love of god, they don’t want to hear all about your experiences. Smile, say good luck, and then disappear. Otherwise, I have half a mind to throw a dirty diaper in your face. Now, since clearly you all want my grand advice, here it is. The new way to spice up your boring oatmeal. Melt a Hershey bar in it. DELISH

Read More